It is an interesting thing

to always feel consumed.

On a more upbeat note – Lina played good ball last night at practice.  She’s learning how to be more pro-active in stealing the ball which I think, for her, doesn’t mean she didn’t have the skills to do it before but she simply feels more comfortable doing it now.  When we were leaving the court last night, one of the girls on her team told her, “good job tonight, Angelina” – that made her feel good despite the fact that Lina tries to be all nonchalant about it.

I have to get some new pants altered.  Here’s to being 5′1″.

This Is The New Year

2010. Christ, I’m getting old. I’ll turn 33 this year.  I’m just happy I married a man seven years my junior – he’s my fountain of youth.  Speaking of the best husband in the world, he spoiled me this Christmas.  I’ll spare you the full list and any nauseating bragging but I *did* get a video camera and a bunch of new clothes which means you lucky readers (if there are any of you still left seeing as how I’ve been a bad blogger) will probably get to see me dancing around the house  minus 10 lbs of body fat or me playing with the puppy as if he were a child I bore from my own belly.

I was browsing the archives of my blog earlier and realized that I whine too much on here about my stupid health problems.  All the whining makes it seem like I’m sickly – like coughing, stuffy, gross sickly but really, all of my ailments are stress related. Or mental health related. Either way, I really need to stop using the blog as a health journal, but whatever.  I’m sure I’ll continue to do so because I am the queen of bitch.

Once my laptop returns from HP, working like new again, I’ll be updating Slant with poems by Andrew Demcak and resume the work on Tilt’s second chapbook for the season.  I’m also really anxious to see who else DGP will be publishing in 2010 since I’m included in the line-up.  Which brings me to my 2009 list of highlights:

1.) Inside Bone There’s Always Marrow finally getting published.
2.) Meeting two amazing women poets I feel comfortable calling my friends: Stephanie Goehring and Nicole Cartwright Denison. Love those ladies.
3.) Watching my daughter grow into an athlete, an honor roll student, and just plain ol’ growing into being a grrl.
4.) Always, my husband.
5.) Our new puppy who is the cutest thing on this planet.  Have you seen the pictures?? You KNOW he is.
6.) Having my best friend visit from Florida.
7.) Receiving the long-awaited acceptance from Dancing Girl Press.
8.) Tilt Press.  I’m so proud of the work we’ve done, the praise we’ve received, and the amazing poets we are so honored to publish.

PS

What in christ’s name is up with everyone having an “invite only” blog???  Half of my list now restricts me from reading some of my favorite blogs because I did not get invited to the party.  How short does my skirt have to be in order for me to enter the club??!!!

*cry*

So Much Silence

I hate that I haven’t been a good blogger lately.  Not only is my laptop broken due to a crazed wire that connects the lcd to my keyboard but I have another ruptured ovarian cyst.  This is the second ruptured cyst in two months.  I’ve never had a ruptured cyst my entire life and now, out of the blue, I’m getting them consecutively.  They are extremely painful and I’ve been on a regimen of Vicoden  for 2 months.  I’m to the point where the Vicoden is starting to make me nauseous and my day revolves around me sitting on the couch with my heating pad as if it were my lover, making me feel all warm and good inside.  The shitty thing is – I can’t sit with my heating pad on the couch all day WITH MY LAPTOP, which would be, you know, FUCKING IDEAL – but the laptop is broken and so it fucking goes.

My OB/GYN has no answers.  Are you surprised? I’m not. You should all know by now that any illness I have is completely unexplainable.  I do have options, however.  I can start taking oral contraceptives, for example.  It’s too bad that every single oral contraceptive I’ve ever taken pushes me into a hysterical hole of madness in which I can only cry my way out of, if I’m lucky.  My other option is to undergo an oophorectomy.  For all of you unfamiliar with the double o, OH, it means this: women younger than 45 who have had their ovaries removed face a mortality risk 170% higher than women who have retained their ovaries. I could care less about not having my repoductive organs, I ain’t havin’ anymore kids.  But death? I’ll pass.

So, I’ve decided to see a naturopathic MD who specializes in acupuncture and Chinese medicine.  It’s my only option.  And hey, you never know, this atheist just might end up a buddhist.

I’ll keep everyone updated on how the visit goes, I see him today at 3:15.  I’m already excited about the 1.5 hour first visit.  Here’s a big middle finger to the half -hour waiting room and 10 minute doctor visit.

snicker

http://www.thedailyshow.com/watch/tue-december-8-2009/gretchen-carlson-dumbs-down